narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

acebunnie:

meeting people who like anime is either very good or very bad. 

Ninety percent of my self esteem depends on whether dogs like me or not

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

fullmetalfisting:

Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

hurpadootdoot:

romeoisadick:

inbox:

inbox:

in Canada they don’t pronounce Z as "zee"

they pronounce it as "zed" and that is crazy to me

it sounds like they made a typo when they invented it

They do that everywhere in the world that’s not America. We do that here in the UK too.
America is weird man.

me: whoa it sure is late, time to go to be-
me: is that a 30,000 word fanfic

yahoneydip:

This fucking woman

asymmetricjester:

ACCIDENTALLY GROWS REALLY ATTACHED TO A STORY I’LL NEVER WRITE

thotkage:

nsfwgpoy:

those nerds in high school who run like this

image

in my middle school there was a boy who wanted to be called Sasuke Uchiha and he wore a Sasuke cosplay to school everyday and one day he did this run down the stairs and broke his arm and apparently he told the principle it was the ‘Naruto run’ and then we were all banned from wearing Naruto headbands and doing this run and Naruto was put down as gang activity at our school

tvhousehusband:

I think I’m in love with her.

wallmarco:

nonbinary marco is everything to me tbh

wallmarco:

nonbinary marco is everything to me tbh

transmutes:

this is important to me

transmutes:

this is important to me